969
days is equivalent to 2 years and 8 months. Time flies, I did not expect I
would stay here for that long. The story got to rewind back to 2012.... and
here it begins.
In
2012, I was with my ex-company called G Company (G for Great), a German firm. I
was a Senior Engineer in the Regional DC department. The so called regional IT Hub means, other than Malaysia, I also
managing all IT related topics from all Asia Pacific IT offices. While the AP
offices already have their local IT team, the regional team basically is the
central IT division in giving direction in delivery and stream line the IT
services to AP users. I was there happily but there was a problem, and this problem
made me leave the company
The
problem was my direct manager, who is sitting just next to me. He is a control
freak and he wished to be my friend, to be close and caring friend of mine.
Then again, you come to think about it, I work for you and functionally and
administratively reporting to you, how can we be friends? He expects me to join
him for lunch….. EVERYDAY. Yes, he really has that expectations, but I was very
cool and reluctant to join him. I got my own lunch mates and I rather go to the
lousy café eat the bad Malay food than having lunch with him and end up I can’t
digest my food. Besides, he is a stalker too! He added me on Facebook,
initially I was reluctant and he asked me to add him into my friends list. And
so I did not say NO (HOW THE HELL FOR ME TO SAY NO?). And at last he became my
friend, on Facebook.
Back
in 2012, I was single, and still in shape (Blushy face). I was very active having outing and gathering
with my friends, and I love to post my photos on Facebook. I love sharing the
good moments with friends so we always remember each other. I did not think
this is an issue until I added this problematic boss on my friend list. He
actually stalks on my page, checking on where I go and the next thing he did is
to ask about my outing when he sees me in office. I didn’t like the way he ask
me as in “questioning” like my father or he thought he is senior than me and so
he has that right to ask. The issue is I did not think he is in the right
position to ask about my personal life, how I drink or how I look after work
has nothing to do with my career performance. I did not drink until hang over
and pengsan in office, as long as I never do that, I think is alright. We all
are matured adult; we know what to do and what not.
Other
than this, I was also a “阿四” in the team, this “阿四” was given by my manager’s
manager. She knows how I was treated in the team and she wanted to give me good
opportunity to stay in G Company, I was overwhelming and delighted. She offered me a 1 year
(or maybe longer) on the job opportunity in Germany. She also understands I was
studying my MBA and willing to wait until I complete my course before she sends
me off. I really want that but at that time I also got an offer from which
giving me a very attractive package. The package was too good to reject and so
I decided to leave. My termination upsets her, she was very angry I gave up the
plan that she designed for me. She
actually screwed me in office when I told her that I am leaving.
So I
left and joined H Company (H for hell) on 1 Aug 2012. And my nightmare begins…….
I was
happily step into my new office, with new title ---- Service Delivery Manager.
The keyword “Manager”. I worked so hard, studied very hard to get this title,
it was my dream come true job title. I came in and decided to learn and perform.
And so my direct supervisor assigned a million dollar project to me. I was also
assigned to a project owner…. the one that gave me nightmare for the next 6
months. I was in project team and my role basically is to deliver project for
my client who is also a subsidiary of this H group of companies. As a project manager
I was expected to deliver project on time, on schedule and drive the entire key
milestone of the project. And so I started to realize am I suitable to be a PM?
I thought I was a good candidate as PM, but the reality shows I AM NOT, at
least in this H Company. Back in G company, my perception and understanding of
the role for Project Manager is that …. Managing project delivery and ensure
project is delivered within the agreed timeline and approved budget. When we talk about project, all activities should
be planned ahead with very minimum ad hoc requests. Why I say my 1st
project was my nightmare and here I am going to tell you…..
The
project…. basically migrating some major systems from its conventional Database
to new Oracle Exadata machine. The timeline was unrealistic, this whole thing,
through my gut feel (from a PM without any project delivery experiences) would
need at least 6 – 9 months to complete. This project owner insist to complete
in 3 months, from setup -> testing -> implementing -> testing review ->
performance tuning -> project cutover. My life as a newbie was hectic; I couldn’t
sleep at night as I always worry what to report on the next day. Yes, we have
the daily checkpoint meeting to report the project progress. If there is an issue
and not fixed, prepared to get screwed. Being a newbie I did not have the
special rights, I always get screwed with no reason. Calls keep coming; at 11pm
on weekdays, early Sunday morning or even a Public Holiday when I have family
outing at Genting, my phone never stop ringing. And every time the project
owner wanted me to feel bad and made me look ugly. Is like she left a banana
skin at the lorong side, but she told you “Yeah that’s the quickest way, go
that way and keep to the left to avoid cats!” And so I bodoh bodoh walk there
and I stepped on that banana skin and fell. She will then jumped out…. “Aiya,
why you so careless? I told you not to use fast lane.” Yes, I am not joking or makeup
the story, it is really happening right here. I knew she was the problem but I couldn’t
fight her and so I remained a follower and get screwed every now and then.
After
3 months, November 2012; I told myself this is not the place for me to stay, I couldn’t
take it anymore. I fell sick all the time, I look stressed out and I regret
leaving the G Company. I thought my ex-manager was a problem, after joined H
Company, the problem became very manageable to me. I keep looking around actively as I could
leave in 1 week notice during probation period. And to be honest, my salary was already above
average bucket, it is not so easy to get a job just that. And so I was rajin
clicking everyday and keep waiting for calls……
December
2012, I took few days off before my brother wedding reception, and so an accident happened… I was pregnant and there goes I have to called off my “job
hunting operasi”. Is even harder to get a job when you are expecting baby,
although is not publicly stated but we all know that. I was then back to work
humbly and wait for my baby to arrive. In Sep to December 2013, I gave birth to my
daughter and was on maternity leave. There goes my first year in H Company. I came
back to work in Dec 2013 and was told I may be changing to other division
(which is a good news) soon. So I did not actively look for job back then.
However, the rumours was never happened, it was just a rumour anyway, I did not
get to transfer out and still doing the stupid project manager role.
Until
my 2nd year, August; I could not hold up anymore and walk to the HOD
and told him “ I don’t like my job and I want a switch” and so the HOD initially
agreed to make some arrangement for me to switch to technical support. I was
very reluctant to deal with customers and so doing technical can escape from
that, which is a good thing to me. I was happily waiting for the switch and for
the 1st time in my life in H company, I really feel happy and I willing
to stay on.
Days
and weeks has passed and I heard no news on the transition and I started to
feel insecure, and so I raised my worry to the HOD. At the end I receive the reply
from the HOD’s manager, (very funny right? ) and telling me I will not be
transitioned to other team, I would still in Project delivery team. The HOD never speaks a word to me after that,
and so I know it’s time to start my "operasi job hunting" again.
I
was in severe depression, all I did was to click and check my job application
status everyday! Stress level gone up,
stress not due to work but asking myself when I can leave from H Company. I check my phone everyday, every calls came in
I hope is from head hunter or the hiring company. All I hope is get an offer
and I can tender immediately! After months, I still not hearing any news from
past interviews. I was in deep depression and so I took 2 weeks off to recover
myself. The good news came 1 day before I came back to work. I was then waiting
anxiously for my OFFER LETTER!!! On the same day I received the letter, I tendered!
The resignation letter already ready many months ago, all I did was to fill up
the date.
I
tendered quietly and serving 3 month’s notice. And now I am on my final week of
the notice period. Throughout my employment in H Company, I get to know some
friends, those I can share my feelings with. Also know some faker faces here,
those I need to be careful on what I say to them. It’s a life changing
experience where I realized higher salary equal to higher stress level. Before I
come to H Company, my target pay was 10k by age of 35. Now I rather earn
lesser, I just want to go home and play with my daughter.
And
now I am leaving for good, hope for a better life in my new company.
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